Sunday, April 6, 2014

Why Adults Ignore Bullying in Schools


  1. great title and great presentation - thank you
    How can we address bullying that takes the form of shunning? The statement "I saw you saying/doing (blank) to (victim) is less applicable. The bully can say "But I wasn't doing anything!" except coordinating an effort to totally shun a person and deny they "exist" to their face daily (deliberate acts of no acknowledge, look right through them, talk in front of them as if they do not exist) daily. Teacher do nothing. Bully victim identifies as gay - reason to ignore #5.

  2. That is a tough one....exclusion is such a hard behavior to pinpoint and address. Many girls will invite all of their friends except one to a birthday party, then they all post on Facebook and Instagram pictures of what a great time they are having - knowing that the one friend left out has to see them. I rely on witness statements from other members of their "clique" to prove exclusion beyond a shadow of a doubt - then bring the bully in to discuss it with him/her. Because it is so hard to prove, I am usually pulling a bluff on them....but I convince them that after this one warning I will address it with their parents. This usually scares them into stopping the behavior because bullies who use exclusion as their primary method of bullying are afraid of what their parents will think when they are notified. The hard-core bullies usually use different methods. I hope this helps!

    1. hey Shannon - thank you! the girls exclusion description reminds me of Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads since for some girls their mothers are their role models for exclusion behaviors! For this 7th & 8th grade boy in school ignoring issue, we've changed homerooms and a class to AVOID them. School is small, ASD focus & all have social "deficits" so it is even harder to "prove" exclusion, but with the on and off & targeted nature - it's real and painful. Understanding adults and avoidance helps.